Do You Even Deserve it?
- Oliver
- Dec 14, 2020
- 2 min read
What a question.
We instantly know if we deserve something or not. A straightforward example would be someone on a diet which has a cheat day once a week, and this person rewards themself after a workout with some chocolate on a non-cheat day. They know they do not deserve that; in fact, they are breaking their promise to themselves! Let us dive into this concept of 'deserve.'
To truly deserve something, we need to have expended effort intending to secure what we desire. Let us say you see man/woman whom you find attractive, so you go out of your way to make yourself presentable and introduce yourself, in your mind, you deserve a chance. You put in the requisite effort; you put yourself out there, you deserve a response. True? Well, not so fast.
I want to propose a slightly radical idea, so fair warning in advance: Do things with no expectation of reward or recognition. i.e. divorce the concept of 'I deserve.' The reason is when you do something in the hopes of a reward— which is a powerfully motivating force— you become accustomed to the reward and hence reliant on the reward.
David Goggins, an ultramarathon athlete, was asked if he listens to anything while running and he responds saying that he doesn't listen to anything because he needs his mind to fuel him and nothing external to him. The concept I am positing is similar to what Goggins speaks about. If you can divorce the link between action, reward & deserve you become a stronger person.
The expectation of anything creates hopes and hopes have a proclivity to let us down, the last thing I am telling you to do is to abandon all hope, no. I am saying that you should abandon your attachment to the idea of hope. There is a difference. You should always hope, dream, strive and fight, but the outcome of all these things can be beyond your control, you need security within yourself to truly succeed.
The point of this week's entry is the following: do more demanding things and stop rewarding yourself so much. It will make you stronger.
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