Damaged Bonds

Mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers and then there is you, the link between them all. How is that link? Are you happy with it? If yes, find another entry and read that because this one is for us, everyday folks.

Familial ties and bonds need to be nurtured like any other relationship; AMC argues that familial bonds are the most beautiful of all relationships because we are powerless in choosing our family. Therefore this entry focuses on repairing damaged bonds between yourself and your family.

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Step 1: Forgiveness

Forgive yourself first, this means that you when you think about a particular scenario that hurt the relationship you might see yourself as the 'bad guy', or you might have done something that left a bad taste in your mouth, the first step is to forgive yourself, you are human, and we make mistakes. It is ok to feel like you screwed up, but you will not move forward in life if you never learn to forgive yourself.

Now you need to forgive the second person; they do not need to know that you have forgiven them, because if you genuinely forgive someone, they can tell from your body language when you are around them. If you have trouble with this, it helps to think about the other person's positive qualities as it will soften your anger.

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Step 2: Gentle Approach

Picture a timid kitten; you need to approach your family member with the same mentality. Take it easy, come with food, and be calm when you are in their presence.

The kitten will run away if they are spooked. Your next chance might be in a few hours or a few days or even a few weeks. If you remain patient and steadfast with the pure intention of repairing this relationship, the other person will eventually reciprocate.

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Step 3: Again & Again

A familial bond is precious and must be cherished, so you must continue to reach out throughout your life, the right conditions for reconciliation could be around the corner, so think about the kitten, swallow your pride and restart your approach. This is family.

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Step 4: Joy or Sadness

Your persistent efforts will result in a climax of some kind, after six months of continuous effort on your part, you will know if this family member is worthy of your further attention. However, as long as there is no detriment to your mental/emotional health, your duty to repair damaged bonds remains. You can not quit trying to repair the relationship if your only excuse is that they are too stubborn and hard-headed. You need to show them that the relationship you could have is stronger than the damaged one you hold, so keep going because a certain answer is there if and when you find it.

Eventually, you can either weep tears of joy for your regained family or tears of sadness for losing a loved one.