IMPROVE YOUR SMALL-TALK SKILL

I am uniquely qualified to write on this topic, I have been in and out of the hospitality industry for close to ten years, if there is one thing I know how to do, it is how to make small talk.

The below can apply to any setting, a cafe, workplace, park; it does not matter.

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STEP ONE

The basics are always first: you must ask how someone is, then ask for their name. Sometimes you will forget to ask for their name, but this is important because using someone's name semi-frequently (at least in the initial encounter) will make them like you, it will also make you significantly more memorable. Saying their name twice in a three-minute conversation is plenty. The idea is once you receive their name, you repeat it, comment on it, (similar to a business card), then use the name shortly after; for example: "You know what Jordan, that is an incredible idea, where were you three years ago?"

STEP TWO

The most important step is this one. You must actively listen to what the other person is saying. There are terabytes of information on active listening. Still, to overly simplify it, active listening is when you pull yourself out of your thoughts and listen intently and consciously to what the other person is saying. While you are listening intently, you are also thinking of open-ended questions that will quickly drive the conversation to deeper levels. You might decide against taking a discussion more in-depth, but actively listening to the person you are speaking with will allow you to understand not only why they are saying what they are saying, but how they are saying it as well. Active listening should be your go-to when you do not know what to say in a conversation. Ask an open-ended question, then actively listen to see where you can learn more about the person to which you are speaking.

To recap: work on closing your thoughts off from the present and focus intently on the person in front of you, small talk does not need to be tedious; small talk can be an avenue to new relationships, either professional or personal. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason, try and listen more, and the quality of those small-talk conversations will improve.